The WhatsApp message from my friend read as: “sorry to inform but he denied…. He says girl’s height is a bit too short.” For a moment I was shocked as he had not even seen or talked to me. This is what happened with me recently. My friend suggested a guy for me, his senior from college.
This guy seemed quite nice to me so I told about him to my brother who further contacted him. My photo and bio data were sent. Within 2-3 days I got this response of his through my friend. I thought ok so he wants a showpiece let him get one. I deserve someone more sensible and intelligent. But it got me thinking, should the so called beauty standards really be decisive factors in the decision of marriage which is the most important decision of one’s life?
I see girls around me who are seem perfect to me, being rejected for some reason or the other and these issues are most of the times related to what we call as standard beauty parameters.
While it is said that ‘beauty lies in the eyes of beholder’ and this means that every person has a different perspective of beauty.
I often wonder that if this is true then why do almost all the matrimonial advertisements in all forms of media harp about the stereotype standards viz. fair, tall and slim (mostly in the same order).
I believe God is not only Supreme, He is also Supremely Intelligent. He probably knew that such time would come when people would be judged on factors that are beyond their care. That is why he gifted something called ‘brain’ to humans so that they could apply it and make decisions using both the hemispheres of the brain.
Since childhood we are taught that beauty is skin deep and that physical beauty doesn’t last forever instead this inner beauty lasts for life. But once you grow up and your parents start hunting for groom, what you have believed in for whole your life is reduced to only a bookish idea.
It seems that being dark or short or fat is worse than being insensitive, shallow, dishonest or even worse.
A guy I talked to said that in love marriage looks don’t matter but in arranged marriage they really matter as you have no other way of knowing about other qualities of that person. But what about cases like me when a person points out something u never complained about and that too even without meeting you? Though it will still be worse if someone does the same after meeting you.
Is it that marriage, be it arranged or love, can last only if both partners are good looking but there is no love, respect and mutual understanding? No. Certainly not.
No doubt physical attraction has it’s role in marriage but other things can’t be ignored on that account.
When I read my friend’s message, I WAS SADDENED NOT BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID NO BUT BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD REDUCED MY PERSONALITY TO AN OBJECT THAT CAN BE MEASURED.
But it just took me few minutes to thank my stars to not having me get married to a man like him! I thanked him as well for making me a stronger person and for teaching me a lesson or two for choosing my life partner.
To the girls like me who happen to face something like this, I would say, never ever think yourself less beautiful.
If someone fails to see your beauty then it doesn’t mean you are not beautiful, it simply means that person hasn’t got eyes to see it. No one is perfect but still we all are perfect in our imperfections .and why not? After all God can’t create anything that is less than perfect.
Source: Womanatics
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