Everyone knows the feeling of being excited for a big game. Whether that game is a rivalry game, a game where your team is considered to be an “underdog” or a game that determines if your team makes it to a bowl game or not, some games carry more weight than others.

Being an arsenal fan, it is safe to say I have been cursed these past few years. I have become far too familiar with what it feels like to go into a big game anticipating a win yet coming out with a loss.

When you’re emotionally invested in your team like I am, losing a big game cuts deep. Here are the things that we all go through when the unthinkable happens:

1. During the game, once you realize the inevitable is coming, you have a strong sense of denial. You probably mumble the words “No, no… this can’t be happening. There’s no way” more times than you’d like to admit. You probably say some other words that when looking back you’re not too proud of.

2. After the game is over you just have to take a moment for yourself. You have to try to gather what you just witnessed. You become the typical “sad fan” that ESPN just loves to capture. Your jaw drops to the ground. Your head is placed on your knees. Your face is the ideal picture of utter disbelief. Tears may or may not be shed.

3. If you attended the game, as you walk out of the stadium you refuse to talk to anyone. You probably kick a trashcan or two or five because that’s better than kicking a person which is what you might want to do at that moment.

4. If you’re at home you find the closest object to you and throw it as hard and as far as you can. Some damage is done with no current regrets.

5. After you take your anger out by throwing and kicking things and you manage to avoid conversation with any other human being, you take to social media and rant away because it’s the only thing you really can do. Getting whatever is on your mind off of your chest somehow helps. “Man, if we just wouldn’t have turned the ball over five times…” “The refs really messed that up for us.” “Was our offense playing a game of hide and seek? Because I definitely couldn’t find them on the field.”

6. You get fed up with everything and everyone involving the sport.Football? What’s football?

7. The entire topic that following week is about what went wrong. Your family, friends, and fellow fans can’t seem to think or talk about anything else because this game was so important. I mean, who needs to work anyways? Casual conversations over morning coffee probably sound something like, “So where do you think the game went wrong? Was it coaching? The players? Has to be the injuries.”

8. You vow that you’re done supporting the team and caring about the sport at all. No more games for me, you say confidently.

9. Over the week you realize you’re in too far over your head and you care way too much to actually ever give up on your team. You’ve supported them for years and you know that you’re not some kind of bandwagon or fair-weather fan. No loss can stop you.

10. So the following Saturday you wake up, throw on your team colors, and pray for a win because if the unthinkable happens again, you know you’ll be right back to being that sad fan who is kicking trashcans and questioning why you continually cause yourself this kind of pain.